I'm not like you

I know how it is. We don't really think about it too much so we just assume everyone else is more or less like ourselves. We all do it at some point. But it isn't really true. You're not like me. I'm not like you.

I don't mind sitting by myself at lunch. That's right. I like solitude. It gives me time to think or read. I'm not sad or lonely. You don't need to sit with me to cheer me up. I probably prefer that you don't or I would have asked. Nothing personal. I don't hate you.

That party you want me to go to, the one where you invited half of Facebook, will probably be great. Unfortunately, big parties make me tired. I just don't enjoy being surrounded by people I don't know. I'm sure they are very nice people. I might even become very good friends with a few. How about you and I and a couple of your friends go out for a drink after work next week? I really like small, personal, quiet events. That would be a lot more fun for me.

I'm not much of a spectator. Football doesn't interest me. Actually, I don't like watching other people play sports. At all. But I know you do, and you've got the jersey to prove it. No matter how exciting the game might have been for you, I'm not going to become a convert if I "just watch this one play". I'm fine not knowing what you're talking about when you rattle off player names and stats.

When I say something, it's probably going to be important. Unless I'm drunk. Then I'll talk about all sorts of random shit. But normally I spend 75% of a conversation listening and thinking. I can't think out loud. It just doesn't work that way in my brain. I need a few minutes to brew my ideas. I know you like to spout off a thousand ideas a minute. Please continue. I'm just going to listen and think about them for a while. That one thing you said before got the gears in my mind turning. I'll comment on that as soon as I'm ready. But keep going. I'll wait for you to pause.

When I say I don't want kids, I actually mean I don't want kids. I won't change my mind in 5 years. Your kids are cute. I certainly don't mind playing around with them for a while. The diapers are all you though. And I reserve the right to leave when they cry. I'm probably missing the baby gene. It's a good thing you aren't or humanity would cease to exist. So keep up the population. You know I won't.

It's all good though. You're fine just the way you are. I'll keep being me. You keep being you. The world needs a little diversity to keep things interesting.

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